The End of the World

• CAST
• Peter – 20s
• Anna – 30s
• Peter’s Mom – 50s

(Peter and Anna walk through a park. People are running through, shouting. Peter is perplexed.)

PETER: What’s going on?

ANNA: Oh, that’s probably because the world is going to end in an hour.

PETER: Wait, what?? Since when??

ANNA: Oh, it was on the news all morning. Asteroid. Seems pretty inevitable.

PETER: (Flabergasted) What? We JUST finished my very FIRST class in Farsi!

ANNA: Yeah, I was wondering whether you’d show up. I know I charge a lot, but it’s a really good investment in your future. If you’re planning on traveling anywhere that speaks Farsi, at least. Not really otherwise.

PETER: But if the WORLD is ENDING. Why would I need Farsi? Why did you even show up??

ANNA: To be honest, I was a bit lonely. There’s not a big Farsi community in Hawthorne

PETER: I have to call my mom!

(Peter walks away to make a phone call, Anna is shocked and hurt.)

Mom! Mom! Is that you?? I love–

PETER’S MOM: Hi son. Hold on a minute, I have a call on the other line. It says “SPAM RISK,” I should probably take it.

PETER: Mom, mom! But that… that’s not a call you need to take.

(Peter looks sad. He holds his phone down, as if waiting for his mother to come back on. She does not.

ANNA: Hey — I’m still waiting for you to apologize!

PETER: I can’t believe you let me spend my last day alive learning Farsi!

ANNA: Hey, I didn’t LET you do anything. You Chose to show up to a class.
(Swearing in Farsi)
een mard ahmagh!

PETER: Hey! I’m not stupid! … Wait, did you start your class with ways to call people stupid just to make fun of me??

ANNA: It seemed like vocabulary you might need to know today.

PETER: Dammit, Anna! This is just like the time you took my virginity. Without asking, mind you!

ANNA: (Starting a song)
♫ It’s our last day, and choices abound ♫
♫ you can learn Farsi, or do your laundry ♫
♫ watch it spin, round and round ♫
♫ Die quickly or softly, it’s a quandary that is profound ♫

PETER: ♫ You’re selfish, Anna, it’s why you don’t have any friends ♫

ANNA: ♫ Except you, Peter, you’ve stuck with me until the end! ♫

PETER: ♫ I hate this, can we just stop this song? ♫

ANNA: ♫ The asteroid is near, it won’t be that long! ♫