Ideas
Just thinking
Ten Worst Times to Propose
With your one phone call. As your last words. While in the process of breaking up. On Opposite Day. While actively cheating. On an idle Tuesday. While playing
Character Monologue #1
I can’t believe they gave me a ticket. I paid the meter! I paid one of the meters, anyway. And why should I pay for a second one? I only parked one car! Do you know who gives those tickets? You should spit in their coffee if they ever come here. Like I’m not going to double…
Why I wish I were one of quintuplets
Help teach object lesson in cloning Perfectly choreographed rock-paper-scissors competitions Road trips are always a blast Nobody would be able to trust eyewitness accounts fingering me at the scene of the crime anymore Finally get honest feedback into how my singing really sounds If I was ever jumped by quadruplets, I’d have the upper hand…
Endings, Evaluated
Hanging/Suffocation Pros: Few materials necessary Cons: Requires expert knot-tying skills and are hard to test Gunshot Pros: Quick, easy Cons: Messy, if it goes wrong, your life will be really terrible, requires gun Carbon Monoxide Pros: Can park anywhere, be found by anyone Cons: If it goes wrong, you could have permanent brain damage Cutting…
Top 10 Amendments
First1 Lots of stuff going on here. Speech, press, protest, petition, religion? Awesome. Leave some for the other amendments! Thirteenth2 Oh man, solving the Original Sin of the Republic? This is the *baptism* of amendments. Good job, Lincoln! Nineteeth3 Seriously? It took 130 years to give half the country the right to vote? We decided…
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.