Ideas
Just thinking
Character Monologue #1
I can’t believe they gave me a ticket. I paid the meter! I paid one of the meters, anyway. And why should I pay for a second one? I only parked one car! Do you know who gives those tickets? You should spit in their coffee if they ever come here. Like I’m not going to double…
Why I wish I were one of quintuplets
Help teach object lesson in cloning Perfectly choreographed rock-paper-scissors competitions Road trips are always a blast Nobody would be able to trust eyewitness accounts fingering me at the scene of the crime anymore Finally get honest feedback into how my singing really sounds If I was ever jumped by quadruplets, I’d have the upper hand…
Endings, Evaluated
Hanging/Suffocation Pros: Few materials necessary Cons: Requires expert knot-tying skills and are hard to test Gunshot Pros: Quick, easy Cons: Messy, if it goes wrong, your life will be really terrible, requires gun Carbon Monoxide Pros: Can park anywhere, be found by anyone Cons: If it goes wrong, you could have permanent brain damage Cutting…
Top 10 Amendments
First1 Lots of stuff going on here. Speech, press, protest, petition, religion? Awesome. Leave some for the other amendments! Thirteenth2 Oh man, solving the Original Sin of the Republic? This is the *baptism* of amendments. Good job, Lincoln! Nineteeth3 Seriously? It took 130 years to give half the country the right to vote? We decided…
It’s the common things you hit
Mark, after two years stranded alone on Mars, never quite got used to Amazon Prime.
He was braver than you knew
Reporters asked Mark what it was like be unsure if he would ever return. He would answer, “Same shit different planet.” Mark flew Delta.
The Blight also colonized the galaxy
I’ve decided I will try to forget that Interstellar never solved the problem with the Blight. Maybe they had a rigorous quarantine.
Things I did not understand before living in the cold, cold north
Scarves Pajamas Evening showers Boots Winter tires Wind chill The weather as a conversation topic Seasonal SADness Salt Slush Wintry mix Despair
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.