love
Unhinged
(Patio. Maya walks up with some Trulys) MAYA: They were out of Nyquil, but I brought your other favorite flavor: Cotton Candy!(Maya opens a can and gives one to Oliver) OLIVER: Thanks. Sorry there’s no coasters, I needed to make some money fast. MAYA: I thought you got paid yesterday! You’re usually so good with…
The End of the World
(Peter and Anna walk through a park. People are running through, shouting. Peter is perplexed.) PETER: What’s going on? ANNA: Oh, that’s probably because the world is going to end in an hour. PETER: Wait, what?? Since when?? ANNA: Oh, it was on the news all morning. Asteroid. Seems pretty inevitable. PETER: (Flabergasted) What? We…
Carpe exanimationes incidamus
The day is ready for me to take, But I must rest for my heartache, And a while to go before I wake. And a while to go before I wake.
Anxious Attachment
“I’m sorry I vindicated all of your fears,” I said. “I was afraid you’d say that,” she replied.
You’re gone… What’s left? Not you!
In his youth, Ben had left his wife Jasmine, left his newborn daughter, and left his dog. But this was a case in which three lefts did not make a right.
Will & Grace
In his will, Ben created a trust for their children and left Brenda the house. She funded her escape with her children’s college fund. She had violated their trust, but not the will.
The Gift of the Magi II
Jim sold his watch to buy Della a comb, she’d sold her hair to buy him a watch chain. “Wait,” she said. “What did you do with the rest of the money?” Jim confessed that he had spent the rest of the money on hookers and blow: “…You might want to get tested.”
Becoming a widow, widower, and widowest
Ruth was CEO and her husband, Paul, was her CFO. When Ruth died, Paul was distraught. Ruthless, Paul closed the company and fired everybody.
Mummy didn’t want to be mommy
The pharaoh’s wife was mummified with he fingers crossed. Hers was the longest con.
Nice Enough
She called him a nice guy and he got indignant and annoyed. She smiled to herself. A guy who wasn’t nice would have let her continue.
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.