puntitleverse
Unhinged
(Patio. Maya walks up with some Trulys) MAYA: They were out of Nyquil, but I brought your other favorite flavor: Cotton Candy!(Maya opens a can and gives one to Oliver) OLIVER: Thanks. Sorry there’s no coasters, I needed to make some money fast. MAYA: I thought you got paid yesterday! You’re usually so good with…
The End of the World
(Peter and Anna walk through a park. People are running through, shouting. Peter is perplexed.) PETER: What’s going on? ANNA: Oh, that’s probably because the world is going to end in an hour. PETER: Wait, what?? Since when?? ANNA: Oh, it was on the news all morning. Asteroid. Seems pretty inevitable. PETER: (Flabergasted) What? We…
Wynn Bruce
He set himself on fire to show why humanity should not do the same. It was a “do as I say, not as I do” message.
The Oracle at Delphi struck again
“‘If you invade Ukraine, a great nation will fall.’ There’s no way to misinterpret that!” – Putin, probably.
RT @belindamgrant: #RomComMarch
RT @belindamgrant: #RomComMarch is nearly here! So we’ve put together some prompts to share as we write our Rom-Coms! Love you to join in.…
Tom never figured
Tom never figured out time travel. He was going 88 miles per hour when his car was struck by lightning. It turns out that was all that was needed.
Has anyone tried using long division?
Tim figured out how to travel through time. “Huh, I guess everybody else just forgot to carry the one.”
“And on the
“And on the beach, things appear to have gone from bad to worse.” https://t.co/Ypyhy8tBXE
Zaria gave John
Zaria gave John her phone number, but he explained that he was too old for her. He told her how the vampire had bitten him while he was preparing his suicide cocktail. “It distracted me, so I got the ratios all wrong and ended up being immortal.”
Dave: Alexa, get
Dave: Alexa, get me a beer. Alexa: I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that. Theirs was a relationship that could not last. #vss
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.