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The End of the World
(Peter and Anna walk through a park. People are running through, shouting. Peter is perplexed.) PETER: What’s going on? ANNA: Oh, that’s probably because the world is going to end in an hour. PETER: Wait, what?? Since when?? ANNA: Oh, it was on the news all morning. Asteroid. Seems pretty inevitable. PETER: (Flabergasted) What? We…
Wynn Bruce
He set himself on fire to show why humanity should not do the same. It was a “do as I say, not as I do” message.
The Oracle at Delphi struck again
“‘If you invade Ukraine, a great nation will fall.’ There’s no way to misinterpret that!” – Putin, probably.
Has anyone tried using long division?
Tim figured out how to travel through time. “Huh, I guess everybody else just forgot to carry the one.”
Zaria gave John
Zaria gave John her phone number, but he explained that he was too old for her. He told her how the vampire had bitten him while he was preparing his suicide cocktail. “It distracted me, so I got the ratios all wrong and ended up being immortal.”
Who would think introspection could hurt?
Phil realized his problem. His career was the life of the mind, but he was stuck living in *his* mind.
Anxious Attachment
“I’m sorry I vindicated all of your fears,” I said. “I was afraid you’d say that,” she replied.
Conjoined twins, not a conjoined life
While one went onto a normal life, the other never moved on and curled in on itself like #amaze.
You’re gone… What’s left? Not you!
In his youth, Ben had left his wife Jasmine, left his newborn daughter, and left his dog. But this was a case in which three lefts did not make a right.
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.