Quip
Wit and wisdom that simply doesn’t fit elsewhere.
Why are these titles six words long?
“You can’t prove a negative!” “Oh, yeah? Prove it!” “… I can’t!”
Non-Sequitur Segue
You know you’ve missed the best part of the story if all you hear is this ending: … At which point I knew I would never remove the stains from my pants, they just looked too good. … And that is how I was both knighted and exiled in the same day. … so there…
Six words is obviously not enough
And that’s when I lost my keys. It was really awkward, I mean, how would I get the dead hooker out of my car?
Guest Star: Some guy!
Since Pixel has failed his goal of “a post a day”, I figured I should at least make an attempt for the SITE to succeed in that goal. As long as there are 30 posts this month, it all averages out, right? Ladies and gentlemen, some of you know me, some of you don’t. My…
Does your girlfriend know you’re making eye contact?
Coworker: I made my girlfriend a CD for Christmas about all the memories of the year. Pixel: *chortle* Coworker: Hey, at least I have someone. Do you have a girl to come home to every night? Pixel: No, but at least I don’t define myself by whether or not I’m in a relationship.
Her smile was a million roses, her laugh the heavens themselves, but her tears, they… tore me a new one
Simp: You’re terrible to study with! Pixel: I know, why do you think I never try it! You can’t leave him alone! You know how he gets when he’s by himself! He just eggs himself on!
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.