waste book, want book

Pixel liked books.Ā  Sometimes he would pick up a book from his library, open it to a random page, and read. Okay, he never actually did that, but he thought of himself as the kind of guy that would.Ā  Which was what he thought when he saw his friend Bre had a lot of books…

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hu?

When Pixel heard that there was going to be another student coming to Duke, he held a secret wish that it be a female. Preferably a cute one. When he found out it was a cute female, he highfived the air so hard, he thew out his elbow. ā€œStill,ā€ Pixel foreshadowed, ā€œI better not do…

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… and slipped on a banana peel.

Pixel traveled through time.Ā  Specifically, he traveled to 1954.Ā  Curious as to what this meant, Pixel decided to try to kill his grandfather.Ā  His grandfather was a 23 year old man then: married, but not yet a father. Pixel went to a gun store and purchased a high-powered rifle.Ā  He purchased a crate of bullets…

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brown wooden beaded rosary

#6: The birds and bees also fuck

Young Pixel’s mom wanted to educate him in her Catholic faith. “Young Pixel,” she said, anachronistically, “I want to educate you in my Catholic faith.” “Okay, mommy,” Young Pixel responded, “I have a question!” “Anything,” she responded. “What does ‘virgin’ mean?” And so Young Pixel’s mom decided to send him to the local Catholic church…

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#29:

December 2005 Pixel hadn’t gone to sleep that night. He couldn’t. It was his last night in Australia for who knows how long. He had no idea when he would come back or who would still be here when he did. He had had a fantastic time, everything had been perfect. His mate Ex_Cal came…

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