Ideas

Whiskey, a revolver, a blank page with the title “Reasons not to commit suicide” and nothing else A dartboard in which a picture of you is the target Nude self-mural

cut self on daisy thimble on too tight jabbed eye with monocle underwear chafe reached too hard for the mayonnaise jar slipped in the tub hernia while on toilet tripped on a tulip knelt on a barbie doll poked head with bobby pin bouncy castle collapse drowned in the ball pit too much darn lace…

skinny dipping with hammerhead sharks fighting a grizzly bear marathon lovemaking climbing mount everest Mixed Martial Arts Volunteer for someone shooting an apple off my head weight lifting war crime fighting prison shanking seppuku sword too dull motorcycle accident fighting a forest fire lion taming accident twelve-hour erection saving small children from a collapsing building…

Age: 25.  Money in Bank Account: $861.25.  Amount in debt:  >$7,000.  Amount others owe me: >$1000. Yearly Income: $23,000-26,000.  Rent: $700. Amount accumulating interest: $240.  Books in personal library: 125.  Books stolen from library counted in my library books:  58.  Alcohol in my house: >$400. Height in centimeters: 178.  Weight in kilograms: 82. BMI:  25.5. …

Rather than the current specialty system, where people train on certain types of ailments, often localized to age range and body part, I can think of many other ways to subdivide medicine. Here are the worst: Alphabetically: “Oh, I can give you the Measles and Mumps shot, but I’m not really competent to mess with…

My friend Jack thinks that smoking is non-negotiable. Even if someone was the girl of his dreams in every other respect, if she smoked he wouldn’t be interested. I have quite other things that matter more to me: Has to be born a woman1 Has to presently identify as a woman Has to be trustworthy…