Some Improper Ways to Divide Medicine

Rather than the current specialty system, where people train on certain types of ailments, often localized to age range and body part, I can think of many other ways to subdivide medicine. Here are the worst:

  • Alphabetically: “Oh, I can give you the Measles and Mumps shot, but I’m not really competent to mess with Rubella.”
  • By date of discovery: “I may just be a specialist in early colonial medicine, but I really think we should amputate. Drink some rum, I’m going to go borrow a hacksaw.”
  • By ethnicity: “I’m sorry, I’m only trained in Pacific Islanders. I hear treating broken bones is similar for your group, but I’m just not comfortable with seeing you.”
  • By non-lawlike, non projectable predicates: “Listen, I know all my training was before 2000 and all of my work has been after, but you really just look orellow to me, not yorange. So it can’t be jaundice…”