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- Whiskey, a revolver, a blank page with the title “Reasons not to commit suicide” and nothing else
- A dartboard in which a picture of you is the target
- Nude self-mural
- Monitors to the secret cameras in your house
- A portal to another dimension
- Enya fan letters
- Nazi paraphernalia
- Many bodies of your friend’s clones
- Human body parts in the refrigerator
- Children locked in the cellar (not their own)
- A fifteen-foot-tall tarantula
- Vivisected squirrels
- Molten lava
- A perfect replica of your 7-year-old bedroom complete with the stuffed bodies of your childhood pets
- A prototype copy of an S&M version of a Wii game
- Empty, but for a blood-stained mattress with chains at each end and a camera on a tripod pointing at it
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.