Beach Haikus
Big muscles are weirdA lot of Test. is flowingWe loved watching Zach– Ben Tall and beaming smileWhen starving is a virtuePlease, never again– Joy Anthony Testosterone, yesall oiled up and spray tanegos, not in check– Enzo will you ever hatch?your lats look like shoulders, man.man escaping man– Kaylee Wet rice every nightLet the muscles shine…
Magic Mushrooms
CAST (Turdfeather, Hubcap, and Alex are at Burning Man. Alex has just biked back, wet, dirty, grimy, and excited.) ALEX: You guys! You guys!! I found some magic mushrooms (Alex hands the mushrooms out to the other two camp members.) TURDFEATHER: You didn’t get these from the Frat camp, right? On a scale of one…
Not Even Hiding It
CAST (At a coffeeshop. Jayna removes her sunglasses and scarf. Maya is annoyed.) JAYNA: I know what you’re thinking, Maya. But it’s not what it looks like. MAYA: It LOOKS like you’re cheating on Oliver, Jayna. A lot. My boyfriend says he’s seen you on Onlyfans, Grindr, Scruff, Feeld, Farmer’s Only, and the free section…
The Future Stone
CAST (Olive Garden. Lunchtime.) JAYNA: Hey Oliver, guess what I have—— A future stone! OLIVER: Whoa, Jayna! Did the old man put up a fight? Never mind, I don’t want to know. How many charges does it have left? JAYNA: Thr– TWO! There’s exactly two charges left! OLIVER: Oh wow, I’d better pull the fire…
Temptation Toilet II
CAST (Alex Enters. All other characters are milling around.) ALEX: Hey everybody, I’m Alex. I just got added to the show. MIEKE: (Spits) Mieke. In home country, hello is sign of disrespect. Spitting more polite.(To the audience)Spitting also sign of disrespect. But less so. JOEY: Joey, nice to meet you.(Joey walks up to the audience.)Nice…
Burning Man
(Unpacking) Ash: Thanks for letting me tag along to Burning Man with you, Maya. HUBCAP: Shh! Do you want to get kicked out of the Orgydome?? My Burning Man name is Hubcap. TURDFEATHER: Yeah, not to mention that it’s bad luck to speak without rolling around in the dirt firs (A pause. Ash slowly lays…
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.