- Urine that dissolves porcelain
- Magnetically attracting toilet paper
- X-Ray vision for old men
- Can taste the difference between “I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter” and crude oil
- Ability to eat burritos for every meal indefinitely without ill effects.
- A constant A-Ha feeling without any actual insight.
- Other people’s socks keep appearing in your laundry.
- Tim Travel: the ability to instantly travel to see any Tim in the world.
Terrible Super Powers
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.