tim
Terrible Super Powers
Urine that dissolves porcelain Magnetically attracting toilet paper X-Ray vision for old men Can taste the difference between “I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter”
Has anyone tried using long division?
Tim figured out how to travel through time. “Huh, I guess everybody else just forgot to carry the one.”
Sharon’s List
Sharon regularly solicited sex in personal ads until her husband Tim responded. They had a laugh and went home. She switched to Craigslist.
The real Grandfather paradox was neglect
Tim went back in time to kill his grandpa. Tom went back to kill Tim’s grandfather too. Tim’s grandfather has no clue why everyone hates him
Sharing
Tim never learned to share. Neither did his wife Sharon. They were a bad couple. Tim found Karen on the Internet. Poor Tim. Sharon is Karen.
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.