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Eat your heart out, little child
They say the saddest story is when a parent has to bury his or her child. George and Tamsen Donner disagreed.
Take a message… take the hint.
The world was ending and he called his mother to say goodbye. She put him on hold to change her long distance provider.
The Year of the Yeerks
Teleportation became the predominant form of transportation. In two years, it became obvious that you went in, but a bodysnatcher came out.
Happy wife, happy life, zappy knife
Xolnax the Destroyer didn’t want to conquer Earth, but his wife wanted it and the 1000th anniversary WAS the Unobtanium Anniversary.
It’s called “crush” for a reason
Boy meets girl. Boy loves girl. Girl loves other boy. Boy is sad. Repeat.
Overcompensating for laughter or for love
Tom became a clown because with his makeup on, nobody could tell he was depressed. This was the same reason his sister became an escort.
All Downhill from Here
Eli realized that some moment in his life would be his last moment of optimism. He worried he’d wasted it on the Arrested Development movie.
His mother also had some regrets…
Mother asked: “Do you want grapes?” Billy replied: “Yes” and instantly regretted it. “Are you sure?” Mother asked. “For the last time— YES!”
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.