vss
Never doubt our copyediting again, dork(
He whispered sweat nothings into her ear. This infuriated her: ‘sweat nothings’ were so much more disgusting than ‘sweet nothings.’
Dead Man’s Hand
Bill sat with his back to the door. He looked at his cards: aces and eights, the Dead Man’s Hand. Bill gulped. “Go Fish,” he said.
Try to be alone, not lonely
It wasn’t that he wanted to be alone, it was just that the more people that were around him, the lonelier he felt.
Xolnax the Destroyer
Xolnax the Destroyer was very Zynnxd with Qzzznq and so he Swwwshkd its Swk so hard! Xolnax was a GIANT!! #alienstories
Dollar PBR Day
Ed told Arj: “With $200 I could buy 198 PBRs on Dollar PBR day.” “Couldn’t you buy 200?” “Not without leaving a tip, you cheap bastard.”
Method acting
He was faking it. he hoped to fake it until he made it. But he never made it… As an actor.
Who wants to be a parent?
“I’m pregnant it’s not yours, and you have terminal Herpes,” she said upon answering the phone. He gasped: She was the worst lifeline ever!
Their bromance was a broller coaster.
Their bromance was a broller coaster. It’s no wonder he ended up with a broken heart.
His heart popped
She was drinking an orange soda, the woman of Eli’s dreams. It was the kind of Crush that hurt. Eli tried to stop her, but woke up instead.
His last meal
His last meal was a dish of raw sheep entrails that he hadn’t tasted in forty years. The dysentery got him before the gallows ever could.
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.