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Eli wrote stories
Eli wrote stories nobody read. Stories with no wizards or warriors. Instead they had boys & girls like him who were loved. Eli wrote fiction
Unforgivable Offenses
“I slept with your sister and she gave me AIDS.” She forgave him. “And I think zombies have jumped the shark.” This she could never forgive.
The moster’s sugar crash was unbelievable
Cookie M. was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and told to limit cookies to a sometimes food. “But is some time all times!” He’s blind now.
The prank that was time insensitive
He waited for the test results for weeks until he realized his friend had changed his answering machine message to a dial tone. April Fools!
Love bites, undead love bites more
The last thing I wanted to do was tell her what happened. She would leave me…. But I knew it had to be done: “It bit me. I’m infected.”
Corina was gorgeous.
Corina was gorgeous. Nobody ever stayed mad at her. She made men miserable or ecstatic. Corina thought she was content. She couldn’t tell.
Barfly
Ed ordered a PBR and sat at the bar being judgmental. The bartender left to check on the other patrons. Ed wondered why nobody liked him.
Some things take time, others lives
Wally was a comic, so for Hourly Comic Day he painted Trompe-l’œil every hour. His hand fell off at 9 a.m. He died from blood loss soon after.
Why sunlight is the best disinfectant
For John, the party didn’t start until the sun rose and didn’t end until dusk. You can see why John was miserable after the vampire bit him.
Sharon’s List
Sharon regularly solicited sex in personal ads until her husband Tim responded. They had a laugh and went home. She switched to Craigslist.
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.