November 2010
This one’s called the ‘Irish Priest’
2 oz. Irish Whiskey 3 drops of Holy Water (or blessed regular water) 1 Cherry Pour whiskey into shot glass. Open up with drops of holy water. Add a cherry. Weep
Scary things to find in a friend’s house
Whiskey, a revolver, a blank page with the title “Reasons not to commit suicide” and nothing else A dartboard in which a picture of you is the target Nude self-mural Monitors to the secret cameras in your house A portal to another dimension Enya fan letters Nazi paraphernalia Many bodies of your friend’s clones Human…
Least manly ways of getting injured
cut self on daisy thimble on too tight jabbed eye with monocle underwear chafe reached too hard for the mayonnaise jar slipped in the tub hernia while on toilet tripped on a tulip knelt on a barbie doll poked head with bobby pin bouncy castle collapse drowned in the ball pit too much darn lace…
Some manly ways to get injured
skinny dipping with hammerhead sharks fighting a grizzly bear marathon lovemaking climbing mount everest Mixed Martial Arts Volunteer for someone shooting an apple off my head weight lifting war crime fighting prison shanking seppuku sword too dull motorcycle accident fighting a forest fire lion taming accident twelve-hour erection saving small children from a collapsing building…
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.