Knock on the door.
BILLY: Go away!
DAD: (opens the door) Son, your mother told me to check on you.
BILLY: I’m fine!
DAD: Son, I know school can be hard sometimes. But you have to go.
BILLY: I hate school! I hate everyone there! I wish we’d never
DAD: Are your teachers nice to you?
BILLY: No! They hate me! They always pick Guillermo instead of me. And then they tell me to stop answering when they ask questions!
DAD: Oh.. Is this Guillermo picking on you?
BILLY: Yeah. He always looks at me with a smirk.
DAD: Bullies, son. You can never escape them. But I can teach you how to deal with them. They’re all the same.
BILLY: Yeah?
DAD: Yeah, they’re insecure because girls just don’t like them. Or maybe because they don’t like girls, but don’t know how to show it.
BILLY: Yeah, his only friends like to sit around in the corner at lunch and play Dungeons and Dragons…
DAD: He’s probably the kind of kid that carries books and binders around, right?
BILLY: … (Sobs) yeah
DAD: Oh, I had a bully like him when I was a kid. He’s keeping notes in there about how to bully you. Next time you see him, you have to slap his binder down out of his hands.
BILLY: …Okay
DAD: And he probably has rich parents, right? They probably even send him to school with lunch money every single day, right?
BILLY: Yeah…
DAD: You have to take his lunch money. Lunch is how a bully’s brains grow and develop.
(Mom overhears from outside the door)
MOM: Francis! What kind of lessons are these?? This doesn’t sound like you’re teaching Billy how to deal with his bully!
DAD: It’s self defense!
MOM: It’s weak sauce. You need to teach him how to push him down in front of the girl he likes. Make him cry in public and he’ll never try to show you up again. That’s how you deal with a bully!
Cut to GUILLERMO’S HOUSE
GUILLERMO: Dad! I made Billy cry today because I could solve a math problem and he couldn’t.
GUILLERMO’S DAD: Good. That little bitch needs to know what life is like.
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.