December 2005
Pixel hadn’t gone to sleep that night. He couldn’t. It was his last night in Australia for who knows how long. He had no idea when he would come back or who would still be here when he did.
He had had a fantastic time, everything had been perfect.
His mate Ex_Cal came at about midnight to help him pack, but Pixel hardly helped the process. Every item he packed was one more nail in the coffin that had been the best four months of his life.
Ex_Cal, his roommate Jess, and Pixel stayed up all night talking. Pixel hovered around, alternately packing and taking mental photographs.
The morning came, unheralded, three coffee shots later.
He hugged Jess goodbye. Glad to have had the honour of being her flatmate.
He and Ex_Cal trudged along lugging 35 kilos of luggage and a sombrero. They arrived at Suzi’s house and said awkward hellos to her and Angela.
How does one say ‘hi’ to someone who means so much to you when a ‘bye’ that will be so final will come so soon?
Adriano met up with them in the train to the airport and Pixel could not believe how quickly everything was going.
They all tried to talk, but conversation seemed fleeting.
Suzi and Angela stared at Pixel. Hoping to draw in every last nuance before the end.
At the airport, Adriano said goodbye.
Pixel’s heart tore.
Three left.
The check-in process cruelly ripped Pixel from his friends and, after, they spent no time at all together.
Angela suggested walking to the tower of the airport to see the view just as the loudspeaker announced the final call for Pixel’s flight.
“Let’s go.” Pixel said.
They moved to go to the terminal.
“To the tower.”
And the spring returned to their step. He might miss his flight but now he could not care less.
But… Pixel had to go. They all knew that. And he had to go now. They walked him to the sliding doors that only he could cross.
The time had come.
Pixel hugged Angela. He hugged Suzi. He hugged Ex_Cal. How could it end like this?
He walked past the doors and turned around, walking backwards and waving goodbye. Wishing to treasure the image for the rest of his life.
The doors slid shut slowly. Too slowly. It took an eternity, but soon, they obscured his view of Ex_Cal bidding him a ‘see ya,’ not a farewell… of Suzi on the verge of tears… of Angela waving, smiling… They closed and his Australian odyssey was over.
The finality struck him like a freight train. There was nothing to keep him from running back and staying forever. He had no desire for anything else ever in his life. He had to stay. He had to… but his legs did not move. He just stay, staring at the cruelly cold barrier. He did not move. He was fighting back tears that weren’t coming.
This time Pixel doesn’t die. He cannot. There is nothing left to lose. This time death does not come in physical form.
This time… in Australia… Pixel truly lived.
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.