Prose
Xolnax the Destroyer
Xolnax the Destroyer was very Zynnxd with Qzzznq and so he Swwwshkd its Swk so hard! Xolnax was a GIANT!! #alienstories
Dollar PBR Day
Ed told Arj: “With $200 I could buy 198 PBRs on Dollar PBR day.” “Couldn’t you buy 200?” “Not without leaving a tip, you cheap bastard.”
Method acting
He was faking it. he hoped to fake it until he made it. But he never made it… As an actor.
Who wants to be a parent?
“I’m pregnant it’s not yours, and you have terminal Herpes,” she said upon answering the phone. He gasped: She was the worst lifeline ever!
Their bromance was a broller coaster.
Their bromance was a broller coaster. It’s no wonder he ended up with a broken heart.
His heart popped
She was drinking an orange soda, the woman of Eli’s dreams. It was the kind of Crush that hurt. Eli tried to stop her, but woke up instead.
His last meal
His last meal was a dish of raw sheep entrails that he hadn’t tasted in forty years. The dysentery got him before the gallows ever could.
He knew she was clairvoyant.
He knew she was clairvoyant. She knew he knew. She also knew that he was about to her out. She stopped him: “I just don’t see us together.”
Eli wrote stories
Eli wrote stories nobody read. Stories with no wizards or warriors. Instead they had boys & girls like him who were loved. Eli wrote fiction
Unforgivable Offenses
“I slept with your sister and she gave me AIDS.” She forgave him. “And I think zombies have jumped the shark.” This she could never forgive.
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.