He adjusted his fedora and left
“You just knocked out a pregnant woman!” they cried. “I know it seems unfair, but consider that it was two against one,” Ali responded.
Reboots
They cast Eric Stoltz as Doc in the Back to the Future reboot, but he just wasn’t right for the part.
That’s quite a flex, there, son
The advertisement said, “Our personal trainers will help you meet your goals. GUARANTEED!” Timmy called and said, “Make daddy come back!”
This post is about your mother
He was so paranoid he thought everyone was making fun of his mother. Even if nobody had said the words “fat,” “ugly,” or “whoregoblin.”
Nonsense
He always ended arguments by loudly reciting nonsense. Today he was reciting pi. “You’re being irrational again!” She complained.
Nice Enough
She called him a nice guy and he got indignant and annoyed. She smiled to herself. A guy who wasn’t nice would have let her continue.
My Graduate School Murtaugh List (circa 2011)
An ongoing list of things for which I am too old: New reading groups New subject matters Becoming friends with first years on purpose Camping out for tickets of any sort Going to basketball games Going to boring talks just for free food Volunteering for anything Taking classes Dating people in my department Social drinking…
Die Young, Leave a Beautiful Absence
She was taken before her time, but not a moment too soon.
Serial killers also know this trick
When Dex discovered his super power of being able to erase memories, he immediately knew he would never have another bad breakup.
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.