Rico was too cool
Rico was a chain-smoking biker who was too cool for school, too much of a jerk for work, and too much of an outlaw for the law #littlelytton
Chum in the water
May is a competitive swimmer. Sometimes she pretends to be bad so she can sucker tourists out of their money. She’s a pool shark.
Boys will be boys, I guess
She did not understand why anybody would want the most powerful tools. She did not understand men and thus did not understand economics.
The Count of Monte Cristo
The Count of Monte Cristo was given improper change. There were no survivors.
Nobody knows where you’re going, Karyn!
Karyn was giving out postcards, but no pre-cards. It meant stalking was always a retrospective affair.
Why the Goldilocks Zone is unoccupied
There were once three bears: a momma bear, a grandpa bear, and a second cousin once removed bear…. I’m bad at telling stories.
Moderate Depression
The test said Eli was suffering from moderate depression. “Oh, great,” he thought. “I can’t even be outstanding at That!”
He’s the Least Interesting Man in the World
He thinks ketchup is too spicy The army is designing their next form of camouflage after him He thinks the missionary position is scandalous He is the character in the horror movie that dies off camera His sexual interests and favorite ice cream flavor are both vanilla His favorite shape is square His favorite soup…
The order and quantity really matters
It wasn’t until Dex needed forgiveness that he was able to give it. He was always too slow to forgive, too quick to forget.
Mummy didn’t want to be mommy
The pharaoh’s wife was mummified with he fingers crossed. Hers was the longest con.
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.