- He thinks ketchup is too spicy
- The army is designing their next form of camouflage after him
- He thinks the missionary position is scandalous
- He is the character in the horror movie that dies off camera
- His sexual interests and favorite ice cream flavor are both vanilla
- His favorite shape is square
- His favorite soup is broth
- His favorite haircut is just a trim
- He is accidentally locked in a store at least once a year
- His career counselor advised him to turn to crime
- Even Facebook forgets his birthday
- His favorite TV show is white noise
- His favorite card game is 52-card pickup
- He cruises in his Volvo with his windows down and NPR turned up
- Hipsters want to ironically be him
He is the least interesting man in the world.
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.