You know you’ve missed the best part of the story if all you hear is this ending:
… At which point I knew I would never remove the stains from my pants, they just looked too good.
… And that is how I was both knighted and exiled in the same day.
… so there I was, beer in one hand, penis in the other, having to confront the reality that neither belonged to me.
… so that’s how I learned to be very careful who you say “I’m going to order chinese” too, and how I got put on the immigration blacklist.
… at which point my socks collapsed, bringing down the entire stack of cheese.
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.