Prose
The Count of Monte Cristo
The Count of Monte Cristo was given improper change. There were no survivors.
Nobody knows where you’re going, Karyn!
Karyn was giving out postcards, but no pre-cards. It meant stalking was always a retrospective affair.
Why the Goldilocks Zone is unoccupied
There were once three bears: a momma bear, a grandpa bear, and a second cousin once removed bear…. I’m bad at telling stories.
Moderate Depression
The test said Eli was suffering from moderate depression. “Oh, great,” he thought. “I can’t even be outstanding at That!”
The order and quantity really matters
It wasn’t until Dex needed forgiveness that he was able to give it. He was always too slow to forgive, too quick to forget.
Mummy didn’t want to be mommy
The pharaoh’s wife was mummified with he fingers crossed. Hers was the longest con.
He adjusted his fedora and left
“You just knocked out a pregnant woman!” they cried. “I know it seems unfair, but consider that it was two against one,” Ali responded.
That’s quite a flex, there, son
The advertisement said, “Our personal trainers will help you meet your goals. GUARANTEED!” Timmy called and said, “Make daddy come back!”
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.