#8: Please use it in a sentence
March 1998 There was a spelling bee at Young Pixel’s school and Young Pixel decided that he wanted to participate. Unfortunately, too many students were participating, so they decided to split the total in two. Pixel’s group would compete first. The best five would then go up against the best five of the second group….
#7: Yes, We Can Change the Channel
February 2008 Pixel decided to catch the results of the latest presidential primary before heading home. He trudged to the local university’s student union. He entered the building and noticed that the flat-screen television was turned on but tuned to some sort of important basketball game. Around the TV was a crowd of large men…
#6: The birds and bees also fuck
Young Pixel’s mom wanted to educate him in her Catholic faith. “Young Pixel,” she said, anachronistically, “I want to educate you in my Catholic faith.” “Okay, mommy,” Young Pixel responded, “I have a question!” “Anything,” she responded. “What does ‘virgin’ mean?” And so Young Pixel’s mom decided to send him to the local Catholic church…
Let’s go shoot something!
1: Let’s go shoot something. We could shoot a rabbit! And eat it!! 2: I don’t eat meat. 1: … We could shoot a plant, too!
Deep, like a llama
People are like… permanent markers: the more you shoplift, the more likely your pants are to get written on. socks: because you wear them on the inside of shoes. clouds: they float in the sky and look fluffy, but they can also look less… fluffy. monkeys: because we look like them. I think we’re related,…
#11: He’ll be identified by his works
Scene: Mayra and friend Brian are in a car, driving to the lyric opera (or some other equally mind-expanding snoozefest like a museum or an abortion clinic) Mayra is talking about how graduate school is going, Brian is listening intently. Mayra looks down and sees a miniature journal. It seems odd to her because Brian…
Ironically, he didn't see it coming.