nabµf #20 of 29

Pixel’s friend Schmree was burglarized.

“I know how you feel,” she said, “minus the punch in the face.”

Pixel knew how she felt. Plus a punch in the face. And it still didn’t feel good. This angered him very much: hadn’t he specifically said when he was robbed that the only consolation he had was that at least it hadn’t happened to Schmree? Now he didn’t even have THAT as a consolation. Obviously, when he heard the news, he was inconsolable.

So Pixel tried to think like a criminal. He went online to see if anyone was trying to sell her stuff, called some pawn shops, and tried to find a local flea market. To no avail. No avail at all. Not even a little avail.

Then Pixel had an idea! He sent word to all of Schmree’s friends, asking if they would donate to a “Schmree Fund” so that they could raise enough money to help her buy a new computer. Pixel hoped to get $200. But everybody loved Schmree so much that the fund grew unwieldy.
THEN the faculty got wind of the fund and they started donating hundreds of dollars at a time. The director even set aside $500 of the graduate school fund to help Schmree out.

Schmree’s friends eventually raised $1,250 for her. And Pixel was so happy he almost forgot all about once having being punched in the face.

Unfortunately, Pixel was killed by a tortoise dropped by an eagle at that exact second.

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