Pixelation

Okay, so Pixelation is a pen name. Obviously his parents didn't name him that. His parents had taste. He doesn't. That's why he's Pixelation, the process that happens to your nudes when they've been forwarded too many times. He writes for a living. Not this stuff, mind you. Stuff that pays. Not well. And maybe not anything worthwhile. But stuff, still.

close-up photo of multicolored bicycle

Magic Mushrooms

CAST (Turdfeather, Hubcap, and Alex are at Burning Man. Alex has just biked back, wet, dirty, grimy, and excited.) ALEX: You guys! You guys!! I found some magic mushrooms (Alex hands the mushrooms out to the other two camp members.) TURDFEATHER: You didnā€™t get these from the Frat camp, right? On a scale of one…

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shallow focus photography of woman wearing hat while snowing

Not Even Hiding It

CAST (At a coffeeshop. Jayna removes her sunglasses and scarf. Maya is annoyed.) JAYNA: I know what youā€™re thinking, Maya. But itā€™s not what it looks like. MAYA: It LOOKS like youā€™re cheating on Oliver, Jayna. A lot. My boyfriend says heā€™s seen you on Onlyfans, Grindr, Scruff, Feeld, Farmerā€™s Only, and the free section…

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green heart shaped pendant necklace

The Future Stone

CAST (Olive Garden. Lunchtime.) JAYNA: Hey Oliver, guess what I haveā€”ā€” A future stone! OLIVER: Whoa, Jayna! Did the old man put up a fight? Never mind, I donā€™t want to know. How many charges does it have left? JAYNA: Thr– TWO! Thereā€™s exactly two charges left! OLIVER: Oh wow, Iā€™d better pull the fire…

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yellow and black tissue roll

Temptation Toilet II

CAST (Alex Enters. All other characters are milling around.) ALEX: Hey everybody, Iā€™m Alex. I just got added to the show. MIEKE: (Spits) Mieke. In home country, hello is sign of disrespect. Spitting more polite.(To the audience)Spitting also sign of disrespect. But less so. JOEY: Joey, nice to meet you.(Joey walks up to the audience.)Nice…

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four person walking while carrying drums

Burning Man

(Unpacking) Ash: Thanks for letting me tag along to Burning Man with you, Maya. HUBCAP: Shh! Do you want to get kicked out of the Orgydome?? My Burning Man name is Hubcap. TURDFEATHER: Yeah, not to mention that itā€™s bad luck to speak without rolling around in the dirt firs (A pause. Ash slowly lays…

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men's white button-up shirt

Olive Juice

CAST (Sitting at the edge of a pier, bottle in hand.) OLIVER: I wish they hadnā€™t repossessed my gunā€™s trigger. It would make everything so much easier. Still: nobody is going to miss me..(Oliver looks at a letter he wrote.)And thereā€™s a typo. Whelp, Iā€™d better not read it again or Iā€™ll notice more. YOUNG…

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